he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
