Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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(646): View more from New York

My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay

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(805): View more from California

He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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(734): View more from Michigan

i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

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(323): View more from California

Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.

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(805): View more from California

I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs

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