Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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