it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need a beard to bite.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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