Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
