She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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