Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
