i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
