turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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