Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
