he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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