he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
