If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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