I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
