Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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