And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
