I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
