She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
