chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
