...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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