Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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