so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
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she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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