some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
