no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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