Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
