I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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