My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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