Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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