Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
