A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
