This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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