Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
