we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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