I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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