I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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