had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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