Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
