Kiss
Puke
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
