i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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