Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
