I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
