never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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