we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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