I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
