I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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