Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
