I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
