You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
