when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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