you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
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we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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