i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
