There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
