you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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