No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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