My hand turned me down
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...