If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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