my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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