I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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