Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
