i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
