girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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