Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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