Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
